Twitter Is Coming For Stassi Schroeder After She Made A Joke About Nazis

January 11, 2018

Last night, while you were all watching the Golden Globes and I was continuing a drinking binge that began at 12:30pm that afternoon, Stassi Schroeder stepped in it (again) with a very distasteful and unnecessary joke about Nazis. Truly, is there any way to tastefully make a Nazi joke? Probably not unless you’re half-jokingly calling Taylor Swift one. Anyway, fresh off her #MeToo podcast fiasco, Stassi uploaded a photo to…

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How Do I Turn A One-Night Stand Into Something More? Ask A Pro

December 31, 2017

Dear Head Pro, The night before Thanksgiving my girlfriends from high school and I went out to this local bar in our town. While we were out we ran into a group of ~older~ boys we all had crushes on back in the day. Fast forward to we’re all drunk and I go home with one of the guys. This guy and I had a great time, talking and hooking…

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All The Best TV Shows & Movies Coming To Netflix In January

December 31, 2017

2017 is coming to an end (thank the Lord), and so is the current Netflix lineup. Out with the old, in with the new old movies we forgot existed, or something. While I appreciate the new titles (more on this later), I don’t totally understand why Netflix has to take things away from us. Sure, I haven’t watched one episode of on Netflix to date, but that doesn’t mean they…

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Somebody Needs To Address These Glaring Issues In ‘The Santa Clause’

December 24, 2017

This week, I was stoned feeling in the Christmas spirit, and obvs turned to Netflix in hopes of finding or that version of with baby Kirsten Dunst some other heartwarming shit. Instead, I found the 1994 film , starring Tim Allen, and you *know* I put that shit on immediately. I hadn’t seen in a while, but I remembered the basic plot: Divorced dad (Tim Allen) accidentally kills Santa, making…

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The 7 Most Ridiculous Moments From ‘Love Actually’

December 9, 2017

is a perfect movie, probably one of the three best ever made. I’m not fucking around. I love that movie more than I love my innumerable illegitimate children, and if we’re having casual sex around this time of year and you do not consent to watching this movie with me at least three times, lady, we are quits. was here long before we started making out in the basement of…

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Taylor Swift Says She’s Not Shading Anyone On ‘Reputation’ And We Call Bullshit

November 16, 2017

As anyone with access to the internet can tell you, Taylor Swift’s new album  dropped today, and despite months of my own personal haterism, it is like, v good. Now obviously, any time Taylor drops an album it is our duty as Americans to speculate wildly over who the songs are about. In the past, Taylor’s made this pretty easy, hiding acrostic poems special clues in the liner notes of…

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Louis C.K. Is Over. He’s Cancelled.

November 15, 2017

Another day, another powerful white Hollywood male named as a gross sexual predator. At this point, we should really just copy and paste any of the other articles we’ve published on this topic and replace the name with whatever celeb is currently holding the title of (Alleged) Douchebag of the Week, because I’m getting really tired of talking about the same disappointing shit over and over. The most recent holder…

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What Your Wedding Bouquet Flowers Say About How Basic You Are

November 8, 2017

Are you a basic bitch getting married soon? Are you trying to figure out the perfect flower combinations for your super special day? If you want your flower arrangements to say “celebration” and not “swirling torrent of grief,” read on. Yah, flowers have meaning. Just like make believe horoscopes, gem stones, and other useless shit, the difference between having hydrangeas in your bouquet and having roses is big if you…

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‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Are You There God? It’s Us, Uche And Clinton

November 2, 2017

This week on was kind of a doozy. I disagreed with someone I generally like, for once agreed with Terrence J, and finally used skills from that one psych class I took in college to identify my first psychopath! Kareem, be sure to DM me to claim your prize later, ya fucking lunatic. Meanwhile, confirmed no-matches Dimetri/Nicole and Geles/Anthony are still hooking up, which is, like, fucking pointless on so…

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The 11 Garbage People You Meet At Every Halloween Party

November 1, 2017

Halloween is Tuesday, which means that all of your Halloween party-going is happening this week and reaching a crescendo this weekend. Don’t ask me why we treat Halloween like other holidays where you HAVE to have the party before the actual date, them’s just the rules. Fuck you in advance for giving me side-eye for showing up to your November 4th party in my Boba Fett costume. Shit was expensive….

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Taylor Swift Is Back On Her Bullshit

October 19, 2017

It’s been a quiet few weeks on the Taylor-Swift-Doing-The-Absolute-Most-O-Meter (patent pending), but that’s about to end. Her new album comes out in less than a month, which means she’ll be putting in overtime at being the absolute worst. She’s already been hard at work on her next music video, which will apparently portray her as some London girl that we definitely wouldn’t get along with.  The London aesthetic is reportedly…

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Everyone’s Freaking Out Over The Color Of These Sneakers

October 16, 2017

Remember that dress that blew up the internet a few years back? You know the one I’m talking about. The one that was either white and gold or blue and black, depending on how much weed you’d smoked that day the construction of your retinas or whatever? Well, now it’s back, only this time, in the form of a pair of sneakers. On Wednesday, a Twitter user who has since…

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